Goodbye, Farewell, Vaya Con Dios, Good Luck...

Dear 2011,

You were an interesting year, and to be honest, you put up a good fight. You challenged me in pretty much area of my life, but also made it very clear that I was fully capable of G.S.D through those. You forced me to take a look at my priorities and taught me how to hold true to those and still have way too much fun. I hated you, loved you, and still blame you for all of my quarter-life crisis'...but it's all good. 

I scanned a few journals I tore through and my planner, and here are a few quotes that stuck out. (Most of which I did not come up with myself.)

- "You don't have to follow the path that society has given"

- "Some people call it STUPIDITY. I call it bravery."

- "Detours don't change the destination."

- "Time means nothing to God. God is eternal. God doesn't need our help, he needs our faith."

- "Right in your heart does not = right in your head."

- "As a man thinks so he is."

- "Isn't it so sweet when everything works out?"

You can thank the universe for pushing these into my mind this past year. Without them you, my dear 2011, would have been completely different. 

Even though the first bits of you were some of the most unpleasant, they were indeed necessary. It took me a little while to realize that, but I did. A dear friend soon told/taught me to not play catch with other people's emotions. That was tough for a sponge like me who thrives on relationships with other people. I'm still working on it, but it's getting easier. Admittedly, I still have a lot of selfishness in me, but now is the time for that so I'm gonna keep it. I'll conquer that when a few other things change. 


All in all 2011, you trimmed the fat, separated the real from the fake, and stayed bright-eyed all the while. You classy broad,  you! And yes, I forgive you for your most recent spats. I know this time of year makes even the best go bonks! However, I'd had it.  Tomorrow night,  you get the boot! I'll be shiny and dolled up with the #MidnightSociety and you better believe we are bringing 2012 in with style, grace and then some! 

So as El Rey George Strait said it in Easy Come, Easy Go..."Goodbye, farewell, vaya con Dios, Good luck..." 

Something big is on the way and I don't mean Big Freedia, Big Bertha, or Big Booty Judy. 

xoxo

A Charlie Gal

Second City once more.

Well folks, two down one to go. We conquered Thanksgiving and so I gathered my good tidings and hit the airways. Chicago was calling.

I was fortunate to spend the last few days (Christmas, duh) with my beautiful sister and her sweet little family. And in case you're wondering, yes I cried my eyes out on the way to the airport.....and at the airport.....and some during security check....and then finally during take-off. Yes, I'm that gal. Y que? This is nothing new. But I felt a different kind of sadness when I left this time. As we drove to the airport I stared at my new nephew and remembered how small he was when I last saw him. He's probably tripled in size since then. I imagined how he would look the next time I got to see him, then I realized that I don't even know when the next time I'm going to see him is. How big will he be next time? Will he even know who I am?  Then I thought of my sister and how much our lives have changed since she first moved to Chicago. 

My first trip to Chicago was for Christmas when I was 19 years old. It was the first time I was flying by myself and I was on a mission: to be with my sister on her first Christmas away from home and make her smile after a scumbag made her cry. I don't even know how I paid for my tickets to get there. We ate, drank, shopped, ran around the city and did Christmas the way two single sisters do - dinner in Chinatown and a movie. Fancy. We cried when we parted and  few weeks later she met my brother-in-law.

Needless to say this trip was completely different. Instead of shopping for the cutest tops for a night out, we shopped for the cutest toys for my nephew's first Christmas. Instead of cocktails and tapas, we had Emergen-C and leftovers. We stayed up late, 12:30 am, and lounged for longer than we should have. We did nothing. It was awwwwesome.  It wasn't the trip we used to have, but then again we aren't the people we used to be either. We are grown-ups now. When did that even happen? How did we go from little girls racing down stairs for dinner to the ones actually preparing dinner? Unsolved mystery. However it happened, it happened and even though life has taken us to different places in the country, we are still in the exact same place with each other. She's still the one I run to when I'm scared or upset, and I'm still the one who makes her cry when I write about how my big sister is everything I want to become. She still makes me watch weird TV shows and I still make her do my eyebrows.  She still threatens me with her fist, and I still kick her and run - we just do that a lot more quietly. 

So yes, I cried again when I had to tell her, her family, and her city goodbye. I'm pretty sure I'll cry the next time, and probably the time after that too. Maybe one day she'll come visit me in some city unknown. We'll play and sing like we always do, and guess what will happen? We'll cry when we part. That's just what we do. Or maybe we'll be neighbors one day and never cry again....who knows? It could happen. 

I arrived back in "The Texas" later than I expected last night and did something I hadn't done in quite some time. I spent the night at my dad's house. Since my old bedroom has a new occupant I stayed in my sister's old bedroom. Even though the walls have been repainted and there were hardly any signs of my sister there it took me back to the nights I would stand at her door until she gave me the "ok" to crawl into bed with her. I kept waiting to hear her yell at me for being in her room without her permission. It didn't happen, and we didn't sleep "big spoon to little spoon" either. 

I've had some great Christmas', but none like this one... and none better than this one either. Perfect ending to my turbulent 2011. Now let's start the countdown to THE COUNTDOWN. (#2012midnightsociety)

Until next time, 

A Charlie Gal

For Mia, my pretty little girl.

I found this poem a few weeks ago and think of it every time I see pictures of my niece and I. I hope she knows how much I love her.

"B" by Sarah Kay

Instead of mom, she’s going to call me “point b”

Because that way she knows that no matter what happens, 

At least she can always find her way to me.

& i’m going to paint the solar system on the back of her hands

so that she has to learn the entire universe before she can say

“oh, i know that like the back of my hand.”

she’s going to learn that this life will hit you, hard, in the face,

wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach,

but getting the wind knocked out of you is

the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.

there is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry,

so the first time she realizes that wonder woman isn’t coming,

i’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself.

because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers

your hands will always be to small to catch all the pain you want to heal,

believe me, i’ve tried.

& “baby,” i’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, i know that trick,

you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back

to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire

to see if you can save him or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place

to see if you can change him.”

but i know that she will anyway

so instead i’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate & rain boats nearby

because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can’t fix.

okay, there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix

but that’s what the rain boots are for

because rain will wash away everything if you let it.

i want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat,

to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind.

because that’s how my mom taught me,

that they’ll be days like this,

“they’ll be day’s like this my momma said.”

when you open your hands to catch

& end up with only blisters & bruises,

when you step out of the phone booth & try to fly

& the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape,

when your boots will fill with rain & you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment

& those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,”

because there is nothing more beautiful than the way

the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline

no matter how many times it’s sent away.

you will put the “wind” in win some lose some,

you will put the “star” in starting over & over.

no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute

be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

& yes, on a scale of one to over-trusting  

i am pretty fucking naive but i want her to know

that this world is made out of sugar.

it can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out & taste it.

“baby,” i’ll tell her “remember your mama is a worrier

but your papa is a warrior & you are the girl with small hands

& big eyes who never stops asking for more.”

remember that good things come in threes

& so do bad things & always apologize when you’ve done something wrong

but don’t ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining.

your voice is small but don’t ever stop singing

& when they finally hand you heartbreak,

slip hatred & war under your doorstep

& hand you hand-outs on street corners of cynicism & defeat,

you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother. (Or Auntie Mandy) 

Sarah wrote this in case she ever has a daughter. I don't know if I'll have a daughter, but I know I have a niece...and I know I could not have said this better myself. You can see Sarah Kay perform this poem here. 

You know the rest. 

I don't know much....

".....But I know I love you...." Thank you Aaron Neville. Not just for that song, but for coming to my city and doing a holiday show for me and my friends. 


But really....I don't know much, but for now (as in this second) it's all good. This time next week I'll be with my kiddos in San Antonio, and then hours later I'll be with my Sissy, Lil Baby, and my summer-boo (Chicago, duh) and I'm sooooo ready! 


Jeez, this whole "Most wonderful time of the year" thing is really putting a pounding on me. What gives?

~ A Charlie Gal

Hmmm

This is completely random and specifically for all your twitter folk...


I've been noticing that A LOT of guys follow @thenoteboook (The Notebook of Love). How do I know this? No, I'm not skimming through peoples "following" list. I know this because they retweet them!  I mean to each his own. That's fine, do what you do. All I'm saying is that this is PROOF! (See "Scapegoat") Proof to what? Guys being simpy sensitives these days. Thank you Drake. Thank you myspace. Thank you facebook. AND THANK YOU @thenoteboook - no really why 3 O's? 


Maybe it's a generational thing. Maybe it was the feminist movement. Maybe it's all in my head. (even though I can name 3 other gals that have already agreed with me on this). I don't even know. What I do know is that I'm going to stop right now. I've seen enough emotional tweets for today. (And yes some of them did not come from Y chromosomes...) 


There's no crying in social media!!!!!! Get it together and go skin a deer... or whatever it is Y chromosomes used to do around this time of year. And while you're at it, judge me by who I follow. #Aintnoshameinmygame 


I'm sorry if I offended any of you tough guys, especially if you're one of the ones who waited in line for the new Call of Duty game. I realize that means you have a false understanding of real weapons, but still, no need to get all killer from Billy Madison on me. I'm just observing my interweb surroundings and commenting on what I've seen. No need to cry, subtweet, or make a "people to kill" list. (red lipstick owwwww) 


I'd also like to take a moment to apologize for my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad posts lately. It's rough out here. 

~ A Charlie Gal

hast

In case you were wondering...

I'm not actually evil.

Moments after my previous post hit the interwebs I read some of the saddest lines that ever made it to print...especially after all the fairy tale bits in the chapter before. No really, I even cried a little.

I haven't really been able to pick up the book since....

We'll see how tonight goes.

~ A Charlie Gal

Officially Evil.

A couple months ago my sweet sister and brother-in-law gave me a book written by one of their friends. I remember my sister telling me a few weeks before, "we have a surprise for you!" and wondering what it could be. When we were finally in the same city they handed it to me and I knew why my sister was so excited. It was like she was telling me, "See you can do it too" without saying those words at all. It meant a lot. Thanks Jecca.

Since, I'm a loyal cancerian nerd I tend to have trouble starting a new book without finishing the current one first. It feels like I'm cheating. However, since I'm also an ADHD rule bender, after a few months of inner battle and impatience I usually get over the "inanimate object loyalty" thing. I finally started reading "S.M.I.L.E" and immediately took a liking to everything about it. I'm not quite finished yet so I'm not going to turn this into a review (plus that's not my style anyway), but I will say that one of the things I love most about it is the tone and how conversational the book is. Mix that with a love story and a Chicago setting, and that's it - I'm putty. 


I've had my nose in this book for a few days and then yesterday something happened. There I was following the main characters romance - their beginning, their first "love" encounter, the romantic proposal on their new yacht, their nontraditional wedding and then I put the book down. I took a look at the cover, wondered about the author and how it was a guy who wrote all this, reread the comments and brief synopsis, and then released a huge sigh of relief when I read "They seem to be set for a lifetime of happiness and prosperity until, suddenly, it all changes." 


Ummm, what's wrong with this picture? I'm officially evil. Who doesn't want to read a "happily ever after? Apparently me. Jeez, might as well call me Madusa. So there. Maybe it's the "interesting time of year" I referenced in the last post. I mean, who doesn't think those diamond commercials are annoying? ("every kiss begins with kay" stopped being clever about 2 years ago. #justsaying) 


Anywho, let me get back to this novel. I have a feeling I'm about to get to the part where things fall apart. If it makes me cry there might still be hope! 


In the meantime, check it out for yaself at www.thesmilestory.com . Did I mention homeboy is friends with the Big O? Yeah, I mean Oprah. I use "friend" loosely incase you hadn't noticed. 


I'm out. 

~A Charlie Gal

Warning: This is kind of "Dear Diary"-eee...

Consider yourself warned - proceed with caution. As mentioned in the title, this post has great potential to get all "dear diary"-eee and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that. They're necessary sometimes I suppose. Oh and I guess I should say that by "dear diary" I mean completely discombobulated, nonsensical, and incredibly ADHD............ SQUIRREL!!! (hehe) Here goes nothin': 


Dear Diary, (might as well commit right?)


Scratch that. Let's try again.


It's an interesting time of year. Holiday season and such. I went to the land of perpetual highlights, Coach bags, and James Avery jewelry (San Antonio, duh) and had quite a nice time. Yes, I just said that. I spent some QT with the original AG, and yep - I still think he hung the moon. Spent lots of QT with my pretty little niece and space-cadet nephew, and really really enjoyed hanging out with Hey Mama - the Jo. I don't mean to discount the time I spent with the rest of mi familia so don't get all offended, okeh?! (Sorry the SA was coming out for a second.)


Before I close out on the Thanksgiving tales, I must make mention of the "curse of Maclovio" - get ready, this is good. Long story short, according to one of the crazies and one of the elders of my fam, all the women in my family are cursed and can never be happy all because wayyy down the line someone was being shady. Surprise surprise. Apparently, my great great great great great (give or take a few greats) hooked up with her brother-in-law, got busted, and had to live out the rest of her days in an underground room beneath the family cornfield! Ok fine, the last part isn't true - but she did get busted and then had the heart of a scorned woman all the days of her life. Which was inevitably/supposedly passed down to my great great great, then my great great, then my great, then my grand, then my mom and aunts, and now is shining down on my sisters and I. Ummm, ok. The curse has to do with the women in our family never being happy in love, life, or just about anything. Riiiiiiiiight. 


I'm not getting jiggy to that. Could be that I just have more of my dad's side of the family running through my veins. Not sure, but it did make for funny dessert chatter and DEFINITELY "How was your holiday?" talk when I got back to work after the long weekend. Oh and in case you are wondering, Maclovio was the dude. It's too bad he wasn't named Jose or Juan, really. I like the name Maclovio - I even thought of naming my future dog that just so I could call him "Mac". There goes that idea. Ugh hoes. Ugh manerve. 


Next on the semi-dear-diary-eee agenda...
This is also an interesting time of year because of the boo-factor. Ladies and gents, I hate to break it to you, but you officially missed your break-up window. Now you're stuck with your boo (or booooooo) until at least February 21st. Yep, one week after Valentine's Day. Unless you're evil - in that case get your mind right! Karma will get you, just ask little ol' high school sophomore Mandy. lol I still feel 1/2 way bad about that. (just being honest)


But yeah, back to why this is interesting or in some cases awkward.  If you are single, then you get to go to your work party alone or you become the rent-a-date for a friend - which I'm totally cool with btw. Then you have those "dah, I'm single during the holidays" moments. Lamesauce I know, but they happen - don't lie to yourself. Or if you do start to see sparks with someone around this time of year there is the whole Christmas gift - how much is too much - thing. Do you exchange gifts or not? Do you go with the "nice and thoughtful" gift or the "cute and thoughtful" gift. Yes, there is a difference, and it is usually most apparent on your bank statement. Or you can just avoid the situation entirely and hold off until NYE. The night I wait for every year! This is my absolute-can't-tell-me-nuthin-favorite day and holiday of the entire year. I've had some amazing Decemeber 31st's in my short little life.....I've also had some not so amazing ones. (Note to self: try not to get too carried away with the details like you did last year.) More on that and NYE in general later. 


Back to the awks - if you hold off until NYE then you run the risk of having or not having that magic moment at midnight.....if you're into that kind of thing. I totally am, however I do realize that that solid minute and a half are often like the firecrackers you buy on the side of the highway - DUDS. (Sure, I'll include that story in the NYE post to come as well.)


Well I guess that's the gist of my "interesting time of year" schpeel - I mean I could go on and bring out more juice, but why? It's the most wonderful time of the year, right? RIGHT! 


I have more "dear diary" dirt for ya, but honestly I'd rather go spend some time with my Black Friday purchases, yes my brain is mush right now. Again, just being honest. Judge me.


Well my dear diary-eee, 'tis all I got for now. Run along, sing loud, dance dirty, and go offend someone, will ya? HA! Totally kidding.....well kinda. Judge me again. Dah. 

~A Charlie Gal