Other things I can't deny...at all. Example? I cannot deny the fact that I geek out over the Grammy's, I can't deny that I am slightly obsessed with Mob Wives, and I absolutely cannot deny the fact that I am a vain girly-girl. I just can't.
That said, I've gone through a somewhat major appearance transformation in the past 6 months or so. When I began this writing project my hair was literally to my waist. About 24 hours later it was to my chin and I was suddenly aware of how full my cheeks were. And so, my everlong dieting life jumped into full force....or something like that. (I told yall I'm vain, jeez.)
Silly as this may sound, there was something incredibly liberating about chopping my hair off. My hair had been long for years and I had been growing my hair so that I could donate it to Locks of Love, but not everyone knew that. Several people approached me asking if something crazy was going on in my life. With looks of concern they asked, "Is everything ok?" I found it hilarious that all these people thought I had some kind of Angela Bassett, Waiting to Exhale, moment. Not the case at all. I did however get kind of addicted to my new no-fuss locks and didn't stop at a cute little bob. Nope, I pushed my limits and went shorter and shorter. Finally, just before NYE I went full throttle pixie and when I got home wanted to hide under a rock. There was no hiding my new Bieber-looking do, and even if a hat could do the trick I couldn't wear it at work. A few days later, all my "ohhh my hair" insecurities had subsided and I was loving me some pixie hair!
Fast forward one month and one touch -up later, and here I am. Annoyed with having no choice but having short hair. Sure, it was liberating and has been pretty easy-breezy, but now what? I'm pretty much driving myself crazy with this hair debacle. I see pictures of my old hair and think, "Aw you're hair was pretty, and long, and shiny, and you could curl it or you could straighten it." And then I look again and think, "But you were sooooo dumb back then." (I'm sure that just comes from the memories associated with the photos, but still.) Then I go to the gym, (because I'm super vain and know if I don't my short hair will only enhance my super round cheeks) and have hair stuck to my face because I can't pull it back. I really miss having a ponytail. I also really miss being annoyed by not being able to find a hair tie....or finding hair ties everywhere. (Ohhh, the simple things you take for granted.) And then, just when I start re-accepting my short hair, I have a bad hair week. (Notice I said week not day....they linger now.)
Having a bad hair day with long hair is one thing. You can work with it. You can pull it back or throw it in a bun, maybe even a cute side braid. Having a bad hair week with short hair, and you're pretty much done. Not much stands between you and Danny Devito. Oh you think that's funny? It's awful! All the girly-girl femininity goes out the window when you have short-short hair and a bad hair week. Don't you dare forget to put on earrings. What you don't have an extra pair in your work desk, car, and purse? Oh you don't? What about an extra stash of lip gloss? I've found myself really striving to be extra girly lately. Lipstick, nail polish, heels, BRING IT ON! I have to make it clear that my short hair does not indicate me feeling masculine....I just have short hair! AHHHHH!!!!
.......Ok, I'm done. I just had to get that out. Yesterday I decided it was time to start growing my hair out. Last night I decided I'd keep it short. This morning I decided to give head-bands a try. What I've determined is this: I'm a HOT MESS! We'll see how this story ends. All I hope for is a smooth transition along the way. Fingers crossed!
~ A Charlie Gal
p.s. Thanks for entertaining that. I'm sure my vanity annoys you as much as it does me.
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